Pardon me if you came here looking for a quiz or a list of tips on how to find out what animal your Patronus would be. More than ‘what’, this post is about ‘how’ to conjure your Patronus. Take it as a pre-training required before your ‘Defense against the Dark Arts’ class.
Lately, whenever I have had an overwhelming day, I noticed that I tend to exhaust myself by playing montages of all the negative moments of my life on loop till the batteries of my brain dies out.
“Why do I spend precious moments of my life reliving my…
“I see an end coming”.
She didn’t know the time or the date or the week or the month. But she saw an end coming.
It was one of those days when she felt like writing a strong worded letter to happiness. She wants to be happy. Of course, she does. She is happy. But sometimes, happiness is given to us in large undeserving amounts, only for it to be snatched away exactly when it hurts the most.
“Has anybody figured out how this works?” She always wondered. What is the purpose of it all? Of being happy. Of falling…
Old habits die hard.
It’s been a proverb that’s stuck with me ever since I heard it…God knows when.
I believe I know a thing or two about habits. I know I form them too easily, that I’m easily addicted to them and sadly, not to life-threatening habits like smoking cigarettes and or depending on whiskey, but worse. I get addicted to human beings, the ones blessed with the heart and feet to get up and leave one fine morning.
So, every time I think about this proverb, I’m also thinking of ten different ways a certain ‘habit’ is going…
The little chubby girl in her school uniform stood next to the school gate, shivering, drenching in the heavy rains. It was getting darker and she seemed to be the only one on the school premises. She appeared scared and lost but you could see it in her eyes, that she was not looking for help anymore. She just stood there, biting her nails….. not trying to take shelter from the rain…. just waiting…waiting for the thunderstorm to stop.
I woke up, breathless, drenched in sweat on a cold winter night. …
I’ll never forget that night.
I thought you’d never leave.
We’d found each other again, we’d gone through the worst of times.. we’d drifted apart for so long that my heart had just stopped aching every morning. We’d found each other again..and we’d realised we always seem to come back to each other.
I’ll never forget that night.
How we laughed knowing we’d not felt such joy in a long time. How we hugged knowing we hadn’t felt this safe in any other arms. How we kissed knowing we’d missed how it made our knees weak. How we tasted laughter…
I often find myself wishing for a world where answers for certain questions were readily available. Kindly let me share my vision of an easier world.
In my ideal world, we all have access to the library of mind management. I visit there often. Today, I’d grab the book “Who are you?: Take this quiz to find yourself; Including a special interview with Benedict Cumberbatch on how he found himself”.
Yesterday, I’d just finished reading “15 quick steps to let go off your emotional baggages, with a quick exclusive on childhood traumas”. Fun read. Practical stuff. …
It began on a typically busy evening three years ago. Or rather, I started noticing her more since that evening. I’d seen her sneaking around now and then before that evening. She’d try her best to grab my undivided attention, but I always brushed her aside thinking — “Oh it’s nothing”, “This is normal”, and everything else your inner voice tells you to assure your safety. But that evening, that one terrifying evening whose memories still shake me to my core, she played all her cards well. She showed up during a cab ride when I was excitedly traveling to…
“What does love mean to you?”, he asked her as he took his earphones off.
Her daily walk on the terrace under the moonlight was her favourite part of the day. It was where she let the winds and music take her away from the world’s disturbing realities. But she was brought back by his question.
Ah, The forbidden word. How do you define love? Have I ever known real love? Or have I pretended to have felt it? She had always battled with the idea of love. What it means to love, to be loved, and to have known…
She read the comments on her recently posted picture. She sighs with a sense of relief. It wasn’t all bad. They found her happy. They found her cute. The filters were working.
The Notification read a message from an old school mate.
“Still the same fat girl, huh?” The face filters could not hide the extra pounds on her body.
Fat. Three lettered word. Storm of emotions.
The skin tears wide open. The wound begins to bleed again. The pain brings her attention to the open wound. She realises it had never healed since it happened.
Taking in a long…
I’m not an easy person to love.
I can’t ever recall being easy to love. I need words, I need actions, I need reassurance, I need security and I need all of them consistently.
It’s been my nature to love fiercely and let the person know in every breath that their existence mattered to me. It has been my nature to fill every atom with love and care, so much so that I break down due to its weight…maybe that’s why I have loved and lost more than I have ever won.
And I apologize to those who have tried.
Grateful for all the art that has ever touched my life. Writing is how I purge the fixations of my impressionable mind.